Updated: Dec 1, 2020
Dating online or overseas, international dating versus matchmaking – Pros & Cons with a psychological explanation
Sometimes people hold a firm core belief, and when presented with evidence that works against that belief, they tend to refuse to accept the new evidence. It creates a feeling that is extremely uncomfortable called Cognitive Dissonance. And because it is so essential to protect the core belief, they will rationalize, ignore, and even deny anything that goes not fit in with that core belief.
My name is Alex Pinto. I am a Portuguese matchmaker and international dating coach residing in Ukraine, coaching men on international dating and the psychology of communication/interaction/perception. This article will share my knowledge and experience with useful tips and advice on finding, meeting, and matching legit marriage-oriented Ukrainian women avoiding emotional and financial loss.
Since 2005 I've gathered the best nationwide premium dating associates building the prestige and reputation ForHimDating – Tailored Matchmaking Company has today. To reinforce authority and credibility in this sphere, I initiated and co-founded the Ukrainian Matchmakers Alliance. Personally managed by me, the Alliance is a legal association to promote and regulate premium dating and matchmaking companies within the Ukrainian market best practices conduct.
It is not easy to embrace the international dating scene and manage personal expectations combined with individual match ability aligned with women's roles within Ukrainian culture. International Online dating inevitably risks daily victimize financially and emotionally many men and women.
I'm often asked:
"If I'm looking for a young Ukrainian bride, do I stand a chance?"
This one is easy! When men ask this kind of question and consider age, looks, and apparent social skills, the answer is always the same.
"Your chances are directly proportional to your reality and goals: the more unrealistic your expectations are, the more restricted your options will be."
Online dating marketing infiltrates users' minds. It sells happiness at the end of the rainbow and proposes to shortcut real-life obstacles – today, more than ever. Online romance is nothing more than instant gratification at an apparently small cost. But we all know that the best things in life only happen through acquiring the necessary knowledge, strong determination, and commitment. There are no shortcuts for Love.
What are the 3 Ps of Manhood needed to succeed with Slavic women?
Their goodwill cannot simply be earned by offering a new home in a foreign country far away. While these women can be loving and faithful wives and caring mothers, winning their attention is not easy and demands sincere effort from any man, never possible online.
Protect | from enemies, life adversities, time, and all the human weaknesses that endanger relationships. A man's fitness for each duty has to be demonstrated and reaffirmed.
Provide | in Ukrainian culture, resourcefulness is a trait connected to the household provider role. A man must be useful, productive – of service to his family and his people.
Procreate | the need to create a family essentially requires that men demonstrate to have not only good genetic qualities but also the natural pedagogical capacity to raise children.
Why foreign men search for a wife abroad?
Factors as divorce, feminism, and long odds of ever meeting the matchable one locally, lead many foreign men to try their chances abroad. Family hierarchy relies more on the men as the provider with household roles well defined by Slavic women more attached to raise children and still keep a high level of femininity and less feminist attitudes.
It is explainable why a tailored matchmaking service with in-depth knowledge of the Ukraine dating market has a 10x success rate than any international dating site where users navigate exposed to overwhelming beauty and misleading practices deprived of guidance.
Being a custom-made support service aimed at individual success cannot massively embrace more than 3 to 4 persons while providing tailored support to each client dating process. This way, clients can be prepared and receive ongoing vital information before embarking blindfolded on a dating-quest overseas.
If looking to date overseas, your first step must be to gain the necessary awareness of international dating obstacles and vicissitudes, not to put your financial and emotional investment at risk.
Beauty is the Wisdom of women
but Wisdom is the beauty of men.
It holds historical relevance to mention that the Soviet Union has had an enormous impact and role in shaping mentality and cultural attitude in generations, especially after its collapse in 1991
To start breaking some myths, and as of July 2018, 26 million people (58.89% of the country's population) were Internet users and has become the second country globally in terms of Internet cheapness. The average cost of a fixed-line broadband package in Ukraine is $6.64 per month
According to the State Statistics Service of Ukraine, there are 26 million Internet users in Ukraine (64% of the population), with wireless connections accounting for 20 million users (48% of the population). That said, and knowing the most active users are aged 15-24 (97% of Internet users) followed by people aged 25-34 (96%), there's no possible way to sustain the fabrication Ukrainians do not have sufficient internet access or can't afford to have a smartphone.
Ukrainian women are known for their beauty, and Ukraine is one of the first destinations for foreign men looking for a "mail-order bride." The majority of men end being (self) scammed, mostly due to unrealistic expectations caused by a lack of awareness of what Ukrainian women are apt to demand from a man as his future wife. Self-evaluation of what a man represents and has to offer to a woman they met online is critical.
To illustrate my words, I strongly advise you to Google "Love Me - Mail Order Brides (documentary/drama)," and my statements will be of great sense.
A mail-order bride was a woman who lists herself in catalogs (today's online dating) and was selected by men for marriage. But that was back in the 1800s. If you still think that today, all those Slavic women enlist themselves on those massive international dating sites, you need help!
What are the chances of succeeding (locally) using dating apps?
The Online Dating segment projection is to reach 320m users in 2020. However, men make up 52.4% of online dating users compared to 47.6% of women. Curiously, the Ukrainian population gender ratio comprises oppositely 52% of women versus 48% of men despite the permanent deceiving pitch sales; there's a shortage of men in Ukraine, which is false.
Today, only three of the Top-20 dating sites (Apps) women outnumber men. In the UK, it was estimated by Ogury that 85% of the online dating market was male, as of April 2019. Such imbalance is even more pronounced among Tinder users, for which the ratio of men outrates women at 9:1.
Roughly seven-in-ten online daters think people lying to appear more desirable is a widespread occurrence on online dating platforms:
· 71% lie about themselves to appear more desirable.
· 50% set up fake accounts to scam others
· 48% receive sexually explicit messages
· 25% are harassed or bulled
· 18% suffer privacy violations
Due to the oversaturated dating apps market, many men are disillusioned with these apps because an attractive woman may receive 20-30 emails from men. In contrast, guys get none or possibly from scammers. Top 80% of women chase the top 10-15% of men. What do the other 85% of men do? Get disgusted and discouraged, and then try dating overseas, yet fraught with dangers, scams, and large amounts of money lost.
Cyberspace is a hazardous environment when not used wisely, but the most important thing here is to use common sense. As we all know, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is so, you do not necessarily have to develop a 'trust no-one' approach to online dating, but it is perhaps worth having a healthy degree of skepticism.
What are the chances of succeeding abroad using international online dating sites? *
(*these sites mostly promote pay-per-letter service aiming introductions that never reach to happen)
Now it gets more complicated: Not only the online risks persist, as users are now also facing an utterly different game-rule. Costs can initially seem quite affordable but can easily reach astronomic amounts for those less aware. I had the opportunity to meet foreign men who spent up to 25K in 1-year addicted to pay-per-letter and others who irrevocably destroyed their lives financially and emotionally.
It is like living in a candy store, and for many men, it becomes involuntarily addictive.
It is a well put together recipe for failure. Utterly unaware of online dating dangers added to the lack of reasoning why those women are always online regardless of the time of the day, thousands of overwhelmed foreign men lose their hopes and money.
90% of those men never actually reached to travel abroad and meet the women they are "communicating with." Most of the women profiles turn out to be a revenue stream for big companies exploiting lonely and less attentive men.
Malpractice that ends up being unpunished due to men hurt pride and shame, leading them not to complain and bear their financial and emotional losses, weakened to succeed further.
Only about 5% of people who join international dating sites end up in a relationship.
Let's equate this to the real world; you walk into a club with 100 women; how many would you feel attracted to and reciprocated? Probably no more than 3, and that's if you're lucky and not unrealistically picky.
But in international dating sites, the options increase exponentially — how many total women will there be which ticks all your boxes? Fifty, at least! That said when you register with these sites, why should you expect your love life to be different from reality?
With a catalog of thousands of attractive young Slavic women in these dating sites, the supposed manifested interest those women "show," should never change your reality until you know if you are really talking to them or someone else impersonating them online.
Until then, keep your emotions at a rational level, mindful of your dating head versus your real age, and avoid growing overwhelmed feelings to a picture.
The chances of success on those sites are around 5%. Contrarily to dating apps, there's no longer an algorithm proposing you the matchable ones, but a complex structure of well-trained staff/employees/writers exclusively focused on making you feel "desired by all those women" through candid letters and interests requests enough motivating you to spend your money on credits and so communicate with them.
The apparently cheap cost of joining such sites and effortlessly find the dream-woman makes the risk/reward ratio look like a no-brainer compared to contracting a professional matchmaker. But in the long run, at what financial and emotional cost?
What are the chances of succeeding abroad using an international matchmaker?
How significantly can enhance success and avoid financial and emotional loss?
Have an in-country matchmaker that personally screens your matching candidates and provides you with tailored coaching, and your success can exponentially increase. Only through a local and personalized headhunt and respective background checks to certify the candidates' legitimacy can grant success when traveling abroad to meet women from a completely different culture, habits, mentality, and language.
Screen selected and interview candidates.
Access legit and direct contact with those women
Have on-time feedback and tailored advice
Coaching and guidance during all the dating process
Safeguard and assist your presence in-country
Properly prepared before traveling, avoiding coming for blind-dates, the risk/reward ratio is now a no-brainer, and the possibility to succeed is 50% even before starting your journey.
With tangible results throughout many years of tested and proven methodology, I am committed to helping foreign men find and match Ukrainian women amid achievable expectations and outcomes.
As a foreigner and psychologist in Ukraine since 2005, I share my tested and proven knowledge of Ukrainian women dating- culture, modus operandi, and international marriage expectations. It is crucial that men manage their expectations and properly represent themselves best.
My goal and commitment is; coach, safeguard, and optimize your best self for success.
What you have, anyone can have. But who you are, only you can be