In this post, I want to share essential information about dating Ukrainian women, especially at this particular moment when Ukraine is at war.
I am Alex Pinto, international dating coach and chief matchmaker CEO founder at ForHimDating and Ukrainian Matchmakers Alliance.
This article is based not only on my 18 years of experience residing in Ukraine as a matchmaker but also on the ongoing support relocating Ukrainian women abroad, as the opportunity, I had to resettle 230 refugees at once in Portugal, my home country and closely understand their fears, needs and mindset as refugees deprived of their lifestyle, culture and language barriers.
“How to date and marry a Ukrainian woman in the current circumstances?”
THE CIRCUMSTANCES
Ukrainians are staggeringly determined to fight for their country and return to their lives at any cost. In cities like Kyiv and others less affected by missiles attacks, like Lviv, or even Odesa, as paradoxically as it may seem, people try to have a normal daily life by going to shopping malls, restaurants, cinemas, and clubs that have been open ever since the war started.
I know it sounds strange and even socially cruel to so many others suffering all over Ukraine. But I personally experienced this phenomenon. Ukrainian people are very much focused on personal achievement and satisfaction, regardless of others' suffering. War brought a sense of solidarity to the country I never saw during my last 18 years in Ukraine. But still, those who have the opportunity to make their lives better or more enjoyable won't quit doing it.
I remember already during wartime when I was in Kyiv, clubs like Boho Restaurant and Karaoke and many others kept working nonstop until today. Whenever I visit Ukraine for humanitarian work, those clubs are always open. During the curfew, customers can enter until curfew time starts but cannot leave until the following morning when the curfew ends. (customers stay inside all night long)
Google “clubs in Kyiv”, Odesa, Lviv or any other popular city in Ukraine and check the clubs’ working schedules and announced events. Check by yourself and see the post's timeline. This is a paradoxical reality, but it does exist among many Ukrainians.
Not all the territory of Ukraine suffers as much as we daily see on television.
Some cities are completely devastated to the ground, and others are still unharmed.; for example, the city of Poltava (where my family is from).
5.4 million were internally displaced and moved to such cities. The feeling of some security in those Ukrainian cities, and the inadaptation to the conditions in host countries, associated with the motivation of having their relatives in Ukraine, led many women to return. Especially those whose husbands are fighting in the war and inhibited from leaving Ukraine due to martial law.
Ukraine is divided into 27 first-order administrative divisions, consisting of 24 regions (oblasts), one Autonomous Republic (Crimea), and two cities with special status (Kyiv and Sevastopol cities). As you may verify on the map below, only 11 districts (Donbas and Crimea are not included) have suffered from successful missile strikes and not equally. (some major cities have a better air defense system than others).
5.6 MILLION UKRAINIANS WENT BACK HOME UNTIL FEBRUARY 2023
According to the UN High Commission for Refugees (UNHCR), 8 million Ukrainians (mostly women and children) have fled the country, plus the 5.4 million that are internally displaced. According to the International Organization for Migration (IOM), until February 2023, 5.6 million Ukrainians returned after a long absence, as mentioned before.
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More than 3.5 million have applied for temporary residence in neighboring countries such as Poland (1.5 million Ukrainians residing there), Germany (881,000), Italy (174,000), Spain (168,000), the United Kingdom (164,500), and other main European countries, Canada, and the United States. It is astonishing to observe that the Polish border crossing from Ukraine passes 10 million.
HOW TO DATE THESE WOMEN?
If you are considering finding a Ukrainian woman for marriage within the current circumstances and based on my 18 years of matchmaking experience, a two to three months of remote and tailored support and counselling screening process and video interviews to reinforce decision-make are vital to avoid any possible emotional or financial losses.
Visit Ukraine is far from being the first option, but still possible. I keep going there to see family, bring someone to Europe, accompany some more daring clients, or assist those whose fiancée is still in Ukraine struggling to leave. Fly to Warsaw in Poland is the easy part. The hard part is going from Lviv by bus or train, then to Kyiv and back to Warsaw.
The flux of people crossing the Polish borders is huge.
During the matchmaking starting phase, Ukraine's situation does not affect the screening process to find the matches of your preference. Their location and life conditions are what will determine the level of difficulty. Women currently in Ukraine, depending on the cities where they live, represent a higher obstacle as interruptions in the means of communication, as their availability (or even the will) to travel to another country is not an option.
Remember that these profiles were mostly posted before the war, and some women may no longer be emotionally available. A preliminary screening and a counselling-supported acquaintance to survey the women's current wish to develop a possible relationship towards marriage makes all the difference.
Not all these will prioritize dating and marriage when living in adverse circumstances.
Though most dating operators will try to make believe women are in a fragile and delicate situation, therefore more receptive to international marriage is at least a deceiving statement.
Many women are passing through psychological unrest, and their priorities regarding new relationships towards marriage become very unclear, even to those living abroad.
To ignore these factors is particularly unwise. All circumstances must be analyzed case by case thoroughly, and only someone with access to those women prioritizing your interests can safely and legitimately make things happen.
For these reasons, my company and all my affiliates at the Matchmakers Alliance keep tracking all women registered on our databases to facilitate our clients to meet their potential matches wherever they are at the moment.
Be very cautious of those who are refugees in paradise countries. The possibility of having a sponsor is extremely high, the reason why it is necessary to understand the living conditions.
More than ever, now, in a war situation, it is essential to understand the women's mindset, priorities, needs, and real intentions regarding an upcoming relationship with a foreign man—a good man for marriage and family or a good man to provide at a difficult time.
WHO I AM AND MY MATCHMAKING METHODOLOGY
I am Alex Pinto, international dating coach and chief matchmaker CEO founder at ForHimDating and Ukrainian Matchmakers Alliance.
As a tailored matchmaking service, openness and upfront one-on-one speech are some of my traits. My advice is based on 18 years as a resident of Ukraine. I am a Portuguese psychologist of 58-year-old, married to a Ukrainian woman for the last 15 years.
The difference between fantasy and reality, success or failure, relies on self-awareness, preparation, knowledge and in-country support when dating abroad.
My involvement in your search will undoubtedly bring you awareness of vital details in the international dating field possible to determine your success. Especially now, during troubled moments of the war in Ukraine, an informed approach is deciding factor. Not only do Ukrainian women have a different culture, but their lives and expectations have also changed, surpassing new living circumstances, which can affect their behaviors and priorities.
Depending on where the women are now located (abroad or displaced within Ukraine) and where our clients live, we organise personal meetings with screened women wherever both parties agree.
Unfortunately, many women have adverse living situations without a foreseen life project. Therefore, we evaluate every potential match and collect updated information on the women's current location, status, living conditions and short-term projects. We request their sincere feedback on getting acquainted with our clients.
This work is possible thanks to our 12 affiliated companies all over Ukraine and abroad, which almost daily share their female clients on our website. Our database represents 10% of our resources to search for potential matches. Our affiliates also have their databases, which can be made available to our customers or be proposed other matches from our offline database.
Difficult times change people's priorities, and we cannot condemn anyone for that, but everyone's interests must be protected. I focus on helping my customers see unnoticed facts, which can be vital for their success; where one of my primary concerns is to avoid developing unrealistic expectations or entering deceiving relationships. We live in troubled moments; sometimes, overvaluing physical aspect inhibits the best decisions.
Cultural differences, poor communication, or specific moments in one's life can originate undesired assessments from both sides. My role is to arbitrate these possible wrong interpretations so that any parties incur mistakes.
After completing your Profile (Evaluation), I may invite you to a Free Consultation Call (on Skype, WhatsApp, or Zoom) so you get tailored advice.
If agreeing to proceed with a client/matchmaker relationship, this is the process:
Our Tailored 5-vital steps to find your match require at least two to three months of preparation before meeting your matching candidates in person.
Enhance your self-presentation by reinforcing qualities and minimizing possible disadvantages on specific subjects or personal characteristics.
Provide tailored feedback on each chosen woman's matching or not characteristics to make the best-informed choices before the upcoming screening process.
I will screen the chosen women, verify their genuine interest in you, and provide video chats to confirm reciprocity and willingness to move forward towards a relationship.
Having positive feedback from the video interviews, we provide those women's contacts allowing private communication, supported by our ongoing monitoring evaluation and advice.
At the opportune moment and based on the ongoing private communication success, we assist you with all necessary demarches to meet the selected women in person, where they reside or in a previously arranged country.
For detailed information, please visit our page, How it Works.
I INVITE YOU TO WATCH THE FOLLOWING VIDEOS:
A documentary I participated in with Belgium TV channel NRK – "Love Hurts."