Updated: Apr 8
Five main factors that highly influence a Ukrainian woman to marry a foreign man:
Based on 18 years of experience matching foreign men in Ukraine, these are my tested and proven major five subjects that, when fulfilled accordingly, define a foreign man's match ability and prospective success in marrying a Ukrainian woman.
Physical appearance and behavior:
As men do, women also search for beauty, though typically in a more complex observance mode than men. Women conjugate quite a substantial number of male characteristics that men often disregard per their nature, more focused on lesser details but significantly in their preferences. Initially, both have a prototype of physical attractiveness as a first selective observance to proceed to the courtship process and reconfirm the matching characteristics inherent to each other.
Like in a restaurant, eyes eat first, but ultimately, the taste needs to match the expectation. Instinctively, organisms of the same species attract each other, which does not mean that a thin person is implicitly attracted to another thin person; there are many nuances. Just as a good leader teaches by example, obtaining better results, one who does not represent himself as an example of what he seeks cannot achieve the expected results.
That said, a well-groomed man with a fit image and gentlemanly manners better captivates women's attention than those who do not prime for self-improvement but expect to achieve results at a level they do not represent. Social skills and a common language to verbalize personal qualities, reaffirm qualities, and erase doubts are vital to establishing a match regardless of apparent differences.
Skills and language to promote and reinforce each one's qualities are vital to establishing a match, regardless of cultural differences or age (within a specific limit).
Language ability to communicate:
Beauty is universal, and we are more or less attracted to specific physical beauty parameters regardless of nationality. But only our desire and attractiveness alone do not grant us match ability; it is a seduction game that involves both parties equally. Physical attraction is a starting point but does not grant personality or relationship compatibility.
All will have to be evaluated throughout the communication and reaffirmed with attitudes. Without personal communication within a common language and the ability to read between the lines, the expressed confirmation body language has, it is difficult, if not almost impossible, to disclose compatibility beyond physical attraction.
When using a third person to translate uttered words, the result will most likely depend on that translator's honesty and interpretation capacity, which unquestionably varies from person to person, risking different outcomes and conclusions than those we would like the person we are interested in to perceive.
Moreover, a third-person's assistance cannot permanently follow through with the development of the relationship process, as its presence will highly limit the inherent intimacy progress, which is vital to strengthen a deeper connection. There are moments when privacy is crucial, and without it, there's no growth. Alternatively, translation apps often lead to misinterpretations and false conclusions due to the lack of human-to-the-moment sensibility and understanding to correctly decode the intended message.
That said, the primary option to maximize results and succeed without defrauding expectations or even any financial investment is to solely communicate with those who have proved to have sincere interest, commonality, and willingness, added to the ability to express herself accordingly and proficiently.
The age gap between partners:
The older the man is, the less likely women are to accept a significant age gap. Women expect men to have an active role in raising children with pedagogical and physical abilities. The partner's age must be within expectations and demands feasibility. Single Ukrainian women who never married or had children are much less willing to accept significant age contrasts unless their main goal is more financially driven in the short term than building a family.
Besides physical attractiveness and desirable characteristics, a future foreign husband must have recognizable maturity, and a well-established life is highly desirable. Which only materializes if accepting a broader age gap.
But in Ukraine, 60% of couples have a 2 to 7 years age difference, and only 12% pass the ten-year gap.
Mainly beauty, femininity (not feminism), and traditional family goals are the main characteristics that lead foreign men to marry a Ukrainian woman.
Gender equality in the household and equality of opportunities are not for Ukrainian women the primary goal, but to raise a family where the husband is to provide, protect and procreate. For that reason, and their distinct roles in the household complement each other, the man must prove himself as a stable provider and a good father. (even if to his kids from a previous marriage).
If reversing positions, why would a sincere woman leave her motherland and family to live in another country with a different culture, habits, and language, depending on a man who does not match her expectations to build the dream family?
When looking at online dating paid platforms (the so-called pay-per-letter websites), women are generally misrepresented as accepting any man, regardless of their age, religion, or ethnicity (and appearance), which is absolutely untrue.
Excluding some exceptions, most women in Ukraine do not accept a man with an age gap of over 15 years. The cases where the age difference is higher are far from being a rule but only the result of commercial propaganda to attract the less cautious men with high expectations and money to spend. Remember that the level of reciprocation you get on such websites is always proportional to your spending but surprisingly overwhelming regarding the reciprocation you receive regardless of your characteristics or age.
In Ukrainian culture, sincere women do not chase men but the opposite.
Country-city-girl and living conditions:
The matching ability is not exclusively restricted to physical and intellectual compatibility. Still, it is also influenced by other factors such as children from previous marriages and their ages, where the couple will live, and the man's lifestyle versus hers; for a woman to leave her country and relocate to another, leaving her family and friends behind and all that she knows as her life legacy, legit feelings towards the man must be unconditional.
When children are involved (and depending on their age), the children's prospective future in the new country, the feasibility of their adaptation to a different culture and language, and her perception of your commitment to her children will determine her decision.
She must foresee herself possibly working if it is the case. Have the freedom and autonomy to practice her usual routines and sports. Fell financially supported for some personal expenditures (or for the children). Ability to socialize, create new friends, and be well-accepted by her husband's family and friends.
These factors are vital to ensure future happiness, and facilitate her adaptation, never allowing her to envision herself as a dependable homebody confined to an adverse environment. As you may agree, in most of these situations, the location characteristics from where they live and where they are moving to matters.
Women who are ready for an international marriage and willing to relocate will consider all those details before deciding to pursue a relationship towards marriage with a foreigner. Even if from a supposed small town in Ukraine, the women's requirements towards the man himself will not differ much, though women from smaller cities tend to have much fewer high expectations about material interests and more about family and well-being.
Moreover, care to know that those so-called small towns in Ukraine do not have less than two to three hundred thousand inhabitants proportionate a lifestyle and infrastructures better than the majority of a small village offers in many foreign countries.
Besides love and compatibility, the household location and the future family living conditions are crucial to the couple's match ability.
Ethnicity and nationality:
It matters to note that Ukraine became an open country to the outside world in 1991. Being a culture of strong family ties, parents' receptiveness to interracial marriage still strives to equal international tendency. It can influence the younger ones' openness to develop relationships and marry men of different ethnicities and religions.
It is not a matter of racism but a lack of receptiveness to more significant changes in Ukrainian millennial family patterns. Like anything in life, time is crucial for the old traditions to get acquainted and commute to modern times gradually. We can find a clear example of how time, i.e., more significant opportunities, can shape the receptiveness to interracial marriages by interpreting the statistics on registered marriage records in Ukraine.
According to governmental statistics, in 2019, the population was 41,732,779, from which 7,342,217 were women between 20-44, and according to the Statistics Service of Ukraine, 237.858 marriages were registered that year. By citizenship, from those marriages celebrated in Ukraine, 2,289 were with European citizens, 1,761 with Asians, 176 with Africans, and 73 with American citizens.
Though these numbers do not include women that married abroad, the numbers unequivocally help us understand how foreigners' visits or presence in the country influence or not interracial marriages.
Especially with international students such as Asians and Africans at the university level or immigrants, Ukrainian women's average marriage age is 25.9 years. What “surprisingly” makes these marriages happen is directly related to the extensive time stay (mostly students or ex-pats) have to interact with women. The age group, a common language (as international students learn the language), and last but not least, a financial advantage that most women seek as the head of the family, which they learned from their parents.
Religion and its practices:
Seventy-two percent of the Ukrainian population declares themselves as believers. However, Ukrainians could hardly be described as devout since only 22.4 percent of believers attend church at least once a month. Over 57 percent attend religious services once or several times a year, and 20.3 percent never or very rarely participate in public worship besides important religious holidays such as Easter, which has significant affluence of practitioners and believers, or during Christmas holidays.
Over one-third of people who declare themselves believers never pray or do it only during specific holidays, whereas an additional 16.1 percent pray various times a month. Moreover, 44 percent state that they believe in communicating with God outside the church or religious service. Thus, it is unsurprising that more than 56 percent of Ukrainian believers consider themselves moderately religious. Such internal, non-institutionalized faith and religious tolerance are common in Ukrainian religiosity.
About 67 percent adhere to one or another strand of Orthodox Christianity, 7.7 percent 'Are Christian,' 9.4 percent to the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church (in the westernmost Ukrainian regions), 2.5 percent Islamic, 2.2 percent are Protestants, 0.8 percent to Roman Catholic Church, and 0.4 percent Judaism. An additional 11.0 percent are non-religious.
Orthodox Christianity and other religions' percentages proportionally reflect the Ukrainians' acceptance of other faiths. As per the numbers, it is clear that the women do not demand their partners to have the same religious orientation if within Christianity. The Christianity spectrum is quite large and flexible. However, it matters to note that the acceptance of other religions is proportional to the given percentages.
A man who considers himself a diligent religious practitioner and expects his future Ukrainian wife to follow his beliefs and practices should always evaluate her degree of religiosity and predisposition to follow his practices in his community and the church he attends. Regardless of Ukrainian receptiveness to religions apart from Christianity, radical changes are not typically accepted at a personal level and are often declared on these women's dating profiles. If not, and with the same importance as ethnicity, it is highly advisable to clarify such circumstances and doubts with your matchmaker or dating coach.